December 13th, 2000

Oh man, rants.. I always wonder where to start. But as things are, I'll go with a fan(ha!) suggestion. Women, yes we're in for it now.

Well, its common knowledge that my luck has never been too great with women. And while I'm mentioning that, why don't I point out that my best relationship was when I was eleven? Anyway, so I've given up hope on females my age. Seems they're just teenagers, and don't know what they want to wear in the morning, nevermind what they really want in a guy. I'm sure most guys can relate with the following story: Guy falls for girl, girl has asshole boyfriend, she complains to guy, but still dates the boyfriend. Yah. Well thats one girl in my life. Its really stupid, I don't know if I'm being let on and destined to be hurt, or if shes just a typical confused hormonal teenage girl. ugh.

Why do girls insist on saying they want a "nice, sweet, caring" guy when really what they want is someone who is gonna fuck em silly then fuck em over. Nobody likes sloppy seconds with sex, same goes with relationships. I've been acused before of being on both sides of the spectrum, the asshole and the nice guy. Even in both states though, I was still single.

Then you graduate from school and some of us realize that the social structure of a highschool is immature and really stupid. The popular kids go on to happy for a few more years. I'll say this once and don't forget it: HIGH SCHOOL DATING NEVER DID ANYONE ANY GOOD. That is all I learned from highschool.

A lot of people don't have the courage to tell someone how they really feel. Too many people are so scared to hurt that they don't take chances that could pay off famously. Sometimes people do the things they do just because they don't know how you're really thinking. This reflects in relationships too. If you think you want to break up with someone tell them how you feel when you feel it. Be honest. At least this way they can try to change or give you a further understanding into why they do what they do.

But really, my viewing on relationships is that your life should not be for another person. I've always challanged whether or not anyone else actually exists (think about it, can you really trust your senses?) and so in your life, you are the most important person, so your happiness counts first and foremost. You should do what you love doing, not be ashamed of it because other people don't do it. Do it because you love to. If someone comes along and you grow fond of them, thats great, but really at my age when most people are still figuring out themselves, why are they trying to find love? REALLY, why? That I won't ever know. I just know that soulmates to me, show weakness in character. So, you've got someone somewhere in the world of six billion people and first you expect to find them and then for them to complete you? Geez, so I beleive in personal power, the only person I think that can complete you is YOURSELF.

My teacher for my self-paced english class today asked me why I buck against the system so much. I just smiled and said, I don't know. I didn't, but I've been thinking about that statement. Its pretty funny the irony of North American Society. Everywhere you go you hear something about how its good to be yourself and that you're cool when you're yourself. But I guess the government or whoever gave us these "rights" knew that deep down people wouldn't turn into a raving bunch of sociopaths because no one wants to be rejected by a mass amount of people.

Stupid. The world is full of stupidity.

I think thats a pretty damn good start for a rant section.